Drunk Elephant Comics

16 June 09

iPhone Contest - How to Tweet Your "Illiad" Into 140 Characters

The #bestdrunkstory Twitter contest is in full swing, and we’ve been getting some hilarious entries. However, I’ve received some private notes/emails from folks wondering how on earth they can get their story down to Twitter’s 140 character limit.

Well, pull up a chair at the bar and let ol’ Papa Hemingway’s ghost fill you with drunken minimalist inspiration! Here are a few stories that I came up with myself — some are true and some are false, but all are under 140 characters with the #bestdrunkstory tag.

• Got into a fight after making fun of men in leather pants. Ironically, I was not wearing any pants. #bestdrunkstory
• Accidentally pulled friend’s rape alarm. Grabbed beer and ran down the street as neighbors awoke. #bestdrunkstory
• Went to Denny’s in boxers after losing pants in a hill rolling contest in downtown park. #bestdrunkstory
• Surgically taped the inside of my girlfriend’s car to resemble a spider’s web while she tried to sober me up for my parents #bestdrunkstory
• Threw up on ladies in bar, bouncer put garbage bag on my head Abu Ghraib style. #bestdrunkstory

Here are some that have been submitted to me that were either verbal, emailed, or not quite right over Twitter.

• Beat up by someone who I called out for getting “fake drunk” #bestdrunkstory
• Caught my three wiseman vomit in an ashtray. It was filled rather quickly. #bestdrunkstory
• Stacked golf balls 1 × 1 instead of going to jail under cop supervision. We stole a 50gal. can of balls. #bestdrunkstory
• My dad tried to poop in the new drier. Broke the drier. Didn’t poop. #bestdrunkstory
• I got liquored up, beat up Max Riffner, then stole his iPhone. #bestdrunkstory

Hopefully you see how much fun it is to condense your story down to its bare minimal. Brevity is the soul of wit, I’ve heard. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, good luck and happy Twittering!