Welcome, New Readers!
Thanks for checking out the world of Drunk Elephant Comics! All you really need to know is that it is about a drunk little elephant named Hank and his drunken exploits. All the major characters are listed on this page along with their first appearances, and you can dig right in at the Archives by storyline or date.
Hank is a little pink elephant with a huge drinking problem. Before Marty went to jail, the two shared an apartment together. Now, Hank lives above the bar that Kacy works at. He was once married to The Tooth Fairy, and constantly gets into drunken misadventures. He is currently in space exploring alien technology that could solve Marty’s impotence problem.
First Appearance: A New Life In A New City
Marty doesn’t have the best of luck. His best buddy inadvertently got him sent to prison. He shot himself with an alien raygun that gave him impotence. The only date he’s been on in recent years went horribly awry. Through it all though, Marty perseveres.
First Appearance: The White Lady
Kacy is a bartender who is going to school part-time to become a writer. She’s usually the voice of reason for Hank and Marty, and can’t help but assist the drunken duo even in their worst of times.
What Happened To The Regular Guy?
Dr. Blogzillions is a social media expert, where by “expert” we mean “confidence man.” Not the brightest bulb in the marketing world, his enthusiasm is nevertheless contagious. After roping Hank and Marty into a Twitter sex worker scheme, he turned them into the police to avoid having to pay them for their services. He was last seen in San Francisco after skipping town.
First Appearance: Doctor Who?
The Tooth Fairy
The Tooth Fairy was somehow married to Hank. And she also somehow pays him alimony after their divorce. She typically enters a room by breaking down a wall. Oh, and she might be pregnant after a recent one night stand with Hank. She really doesn’t deserve all of that.
First Appearance: Enter The Tooth Fairy
After a promising date with Marty, everything fell apart when the two discovered that Marty was impotent. Things really went south when Marty drunkenly came back later with a bag of E-D pills and couldn’t remember her name. But time has passed, and Kathy is wondering if Marty is really that bad of a guy after all (despite the fact that he’s in prison).
First Appearance: First Date Jinx
The pint-size career criminal helped Hank break into prison so they could get Marty out. After returning from their mission unsuccessfully, Ambrose quietly died at the bar enjoying one last drink and one last prison escape.
First Appearance: Criminal Mastermind
Owner of the Naked Raygun and hailing from the planet Rockadeus, Troz has a thing for Earth culture (the women especially). He’s currently helping Hank find a way to reverse the raygun’s impotence side effect on men.
First Appearance: Puny Earthling
Dr. Snergaz was commissioned by Troz to create a raygun that shot the clothes off of Earth women. Fearing karmic backlash, he also made it so if an Earth man were shot by the device, they would become impotent. A compulsive gambler, Dr. Snergaz is hoping Hank will get him out of debt by participating in Killfest.
First Appearance: Dr. Snergaz
Loan-Bot 21 is a merciless robot bookie whom is owed a large sum of cash from Dr. Snergaz. He is tired of the emptiness of the profession for which he was programmed for, but tirelessly sets on about his duties of limb-breaking, collecting money, and intimidation. He also likes sunsets on the beach.
First Appearance: Hello, Doctor
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Random Drink Recipe
- 2 ½ oz Light Rum
- 1 oz Jamaica Rum
- ½ oz 151-proof Rum
- ½ oz Apricot-flavored Brandy
- 1 oz Unsweetened Pineapple Juice
- Juice of 1 Lime
- Juice of 1 Small Orange
- 2 tsp Powdered Sugar
- 1 oz Passion Fruit Syrup
- Crushed Ice
Blend all ingredients and ½ cup crushed ice at low speed for 2 minutes. Strain into a frosted glass. Top with a stick of pineapple and a cherry. Carefully float 151-proof rum on top. Add a sprig of fresh mint dipped in powdered sugar and serve with a straw.